Stage Fright

Stage Fright

You’re not going to believe how real my stage fright is.

It sits in the corner, staring at me, telling me I’m not good enough,

Everyone’s going to whisper when I leave the stage,

Stifling the obvious laugh with an obvious cough.

 

It stands before me, tall, dark, and crushingly patronizing

I can’t see my audience, can’t tell if they like me

Do you like me?

You see, my fear is rooted in my insecurity.

 

It’s not about the strangers.

Not about pleasing whom I don’t know.

I’m more concerned about those who will stay.

Reminding me of this day, not letting me grow.

 

So I s-s-stumble, I fler-fert-falter

Do I have a choice?

You’re all staring at me (?)

It’s a wonder I found my voice.

 

But the silver lining is

I’d never need drugs.

Give me a stage and five people to stare at me,

When I’m up there, I’m alive.

 

I feel my heartbeat in my toes,

My veins in my soul,

I feel the earth move at 67 thousand miles per hour,

If numb fingers and blurry vision is strength, I have the power.

 

Unfortunately, my fear and my poetry don’t mix.

See, I’m doing this because I didn’t just want to be read, I wanted to be heard.

But when I’m up here, All I can hear is the clock’s ticks- and tocks- and-ticks-and

Then my heart skips a beat because I know my friends are here, and they’re going to rush to me later and tell me how proud they are of me and my god I want them to be proud of me…..and tocks.

 

My fear and my poetry don’t mix.

But I’m taking all opportunities I get to fix that.

And if you’re a silent poet or singer,

Or if you can fart with your neck for god’s sake,

Take your shot, you’ve got what it takes.

 

Fear sitting slyly in the corner or standing staring, scaring

Shouldn’t make you want to stop.

So, don’t.

Get up there and stutter through your words.

Choke on your heart,

Feel your blood clot.

I’m going to let my fingers tremble; I’m going to let my voice shake.

When I’m up here, I’m alive.