An Open Letter To Maths has been edited by Ruhaan Shah.
I solemnly swear, from the day you entered my life, you have been nothing but a nuisance. You are the most frightening in my list of nightmares. The very mention of you gives me creeps and shivers, and can easily make me cry. I just cannot comprehend how people seem to love you so much.
I, honestly, made a sincere effort. While I actually tried to like you, it seems more like unrequited love now. So do not blame me, I tried to love you, but I guess you just do not feel the same way. We are just not compatible. Anyway, this is our not-so-love story from the beginning.
It used to be marbles, dice, cards, and games when I was introduced to you. Could we not have continued to enjoy life in that simple manner? When we started, you seemed pretty easy going, you were just cute little numbers, and so much like drawing. The fours I wrote would usually end up looking like someone’s nose, and nobody could differentiate between my nines and sixes but I guess you were bearable then.
Fractions came along and the only way I slogged my way through that, was by imagining food. Dreaming about pizza slices was the only way to reduce my misery of dealing with fractions. The marinara sauce, sometimes, falls all over my exam papers because it turns out red whenever it is returned to me.
Introduction to Decimals has all but decimated happiness in my life. I just cannot fathom over the requirement of Decimals.
If it were not bad enough that we have loads of positive and negative numbers, fractions and decimals came to mess me up. Ever since it has been so confusing as which sign to put.
Your tyranny continued. Pythagoras Theorem! Seriously, why? When the hell am I going to use this ever in my life?! Squares of a, b and c; x, y and z still spin meaninglessly in my head.
What is the deal with you, Algebra? You never seem to get over your ex. If it was not hard enough that I found her once, you told me to find her over and over again. Your obsession with her ended soon when you found other topics to torture me with.
In these days of child-centred education, is it not cruelty to expect all children to arrive at the same answers to maths questions? Where goes the creativity that we want to foster in our children? Can we just think about whether unicorns poop rainbows or not?
I thought I would find respite from Maths when I started enjoying Chemistry and Biology. But there, too, you had to raise your ugly head. You also seem to have completely colonised the subject of Physics. There are angles, equations, formulae, and proof. On another note, I probably should not be completely ungrateful to you. The acute boredom I felt in your classes has contributed to some of the best doodles in my portfolio.
I really hope that as I go towards the beginning of college and university, the wonderful subjects, psychology, theatre, and design are free from your oppression. I sincerely hope that the children and human rights organisations take the cause up of millions of people worldwide that have been harassed by you and bring to justice in the international courts.
Here is hoping that you are exiled to some dark corner of our universe so that children can enjoy a life free from the fear of the ubiquitous monster you have morphed into.
To read more by the author of An Open Letter To Maths, click here.