Relationship Goals has been edited by Rushi Bhimani.
A million relationship goals have been given, standards have been set, expectations raised. Like a natural progression, we tend to abide by the rules. We tend to live by those pre-defined notions of a ‘perfect’ relationship. But what is a perfect relationship, really?
Is it the unwavering emotional connect? Is it the passion you have for each other? Is it the spark or the comfort in monotony? I do not have an answer, and I would not like to pretend I do. But does it not intrigue you; the complexity of it all? The various ways people categorize their romantic interest is quite daunting for me, honestly.
The way there are levels of affection, levels of commitment. It is confusing rather than clear.
It is no wonder, I always end up thinking—actually over thinking—about the intricacies of relationships. I did sit down, I did try to understand what it is for me. Eventually I came up with an answer, but much to my dismay, a rather generic one. A bond which was different than most pre-existing ones; where a person could enjoy the occasional silence, where the conversations were real as well as silly, where the kiss ignited a fire that could be articulated only through a dreamy poem. A bond where you could hold each other close, to make life a little better and flaws could be overlooked. Saying it is a bond where lust and love have a harmonious marriage, would seem fair.
It would be a lie if I said I didn’t have extremely romanticized notions. But the reality seemed so ordinary. What I had failed to realize is that the ordinary is the hardest, always.
It was about all that I wished for, but it was not as easy as it sounded. It was a task. Dealing with monotony is not romantic; it needs some real determination and love for one another. You need the will to make it work. Cupid is not waiting to shoot you with an arrow every year just to keep it going. You have to make do. Either you accept the flaws, or love despite them; secretly wishing for them to disappear. You whine, you get angry, yet you survive.
That is what it is, is it not? Then why have we become so pretentious? Why is the relationship about whether he liked your picture or not? How did it end up being a game of authority? When did it turn into a sham to show the world that you are not alone, while you still cry lonely at nights?
I think all of us have been there, haven’t we? The place where dwelling over those irrelevant things, just to make a point to the world; a phase when it was fad being in a relationship. It is all right if you were. But it is not, if you have not stepped out of it; if you are still living in a bubble where anniversary gifts, number of pictures and how cute you look together define your relationship. It is definitely not fine. Please, do not let those unreal relationship goals disrupt something real and beautiful.
Go ahead, be all mushy but do not lose sight of why you are being mushy in the first place. Upload pictures, but be aware whether it is to store a happy memory or just another picture on your feed. Because if you do not, it is pointless, the relationship. If it has no depth, no reality checks, no fights, no passion, then there is something wrong.
I would not tell you how to live; I would not tell you how to be in a relationship. All I am saying is think for yourself. It makes all the difference.
And those goals? Fuck them, okay?
Author’s Note: ‘Relationship Goals?’ does not aim to disregard anyone’s take on relationships. Everything said are strictly my views.
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