The Day When I Realised Reality is Not My Enemy: Part 2 has been edited by Aashna Kanuga.
Reality told me, “You wish to live in a world where you want everyone to be the perfect versions of themselves. You want everyone to follow their own set of rules and regulations. You say social service is a crime and everyone should live for themselves. If that was how this world worked, you would suffer the most. Your definition of the perfect world has no place for emotions. Would you be able to survive in such a world? Let alone survive, will you be able to breathe? Your opinion of what the world should be is like a physics theory. It might be ideal with certain assumptions, but if you ask me then in my world it will never make sense.”
“You wish to be in a world where love is perfect. Love that does not obey any rules of sacrifice and compromise. But have you every thought about how perfect you are? Open your eyes and see that your reality is not perfect.
One needs to absorb things and emotions in order to appreciate the imperfection in every human being. This helps a person love. It is easier to love an imperfect person than to love an ideal one.
Sometimes your principles create a wall around you. Yes, our principles are the reflection of our soul. But if it stops our vision, then they are morally wrong. Lately, that is happening to you. You are unable to move past your principles. The only reason I came to you every night is that I want you to open your eyes and explore the perfection in this imperfect world. You have become very rigid and conservative. I need you to know that this approach will lead you to destruction. You cannot stop criticising yourself.”
I replied, “I was just being particular, not rigid. I still critically evaluate myself. It is just that at times my withdrawal symptoms make me stop doing that.”
Reality laughed at me and said, “You defensive asshole. You were not like this before. Particular and rigid are two very different concepts. If you call yourself perfect then why I am here? I never wished to be so harsh, but your reality is in front of you and he is not lying. He just wants to tell you that you are not wrong. What is wrong is your approach.”
It was 4:30 am. Reality had left. I was still sitting on the terrace with a Marlboro Advance in my hand. I had a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Realisation hit me hard. I promised myself that I will never stop being an ideal. But first, I would learn to accept myself. I would learn to accept my imperfections and learn how to live in this flawed but beautiful world.
To read the first part of The Day When I Realised Reality is Not My Enemy, click here.
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