The Pain Of Being In The Friendzone has been edited by Pratichi Sadavrati.
We all are quite familiar with what this word means. “The one with the Blackout”, the seventh episode of the first season of “F.R.I.E.N.D.S”, popularised the word Friendzone in 1994. And it has been ruining our lives ever since.
Initially, Friendzone stood for the ones who loved someone, but it never lead to a relationship, and they ended up being friends. But, over time, its meaning has changed. Now, anyone with even a tiny crush on someone or a considerable number friends of opposite sex can be labelled to be in the Friendzone. Sarcasm, if you did not get it!
What happens when you like someone? When you want to be more than just friends? Courageously, with whatever strength you have, you almost pick yourself up and manage to confess your feelings. Or maybe you just sit back and stalk them endlessly over social media until they realise and block you. That is a different story which might fall under “The Pain Of Being Creepy”.
You tend to hold high hopes of it working out this time. You wish that they too, feel the same and accept you and your feelings. But that might not happen often. And naturally, you feel sad and somehow fail to hide that.
Now, there are three situations. The person either gets disgusted and walks away or does not want to be a jerk and asks you to stay friends or genuinely likes you “as a friend”. The first scenario is quite painful, though not as painful as the latter ones. So what happens next, after the person who you felt deeply for has friendzoned you? Do you sink in a pool of your emotions? Maybe.
Some people have a luxury not to see the other person again. The ones who do not, have to adjust in this ever suffocating environment. Where you cannot run away from their constant presence. Where you see them again and again, every day rejoicing and oppressing your instinct to overthink situations. This always tends to bring you back to that one single moment, wishing that you had never said anything, turning you into a creep, turning you paranoid.
It gets even more painful to live while your friends constantly mock you. And they never ever help you get past that. It does not matter if you get friendzoned often or not, they label you as the one who always does. Like the agony of being rejected was not enough! The teasing gets too annoying to handle but you cannot do anything about that. And you certainly are too sweet to tell them that it has been bothering you. So you stay silent, and digest every piece of their platitude and bury it deep down. Yet whenever they bring it up, you feel bad about that, and somehow start asking yourself, “Is anything wrong with me?”
And then a chain of thoughts start, taking you back in the darker alley. The alley where your sole companion is your loneliness, which makes you wonder about all the choices you made. The choices which led you to this very moment. And you wonder what you could have possibly done to not be here.
With many difficulties, you somehow accustom yourself with all this constant mocking and teasing. But what you still can not bear is the fact that now, almost everyone has taken you to be that person who is “Friendzone” material. It is because of that, a few people who could have fallen into the green zone (intersection of people you like and those who like you), tend to move out, because somehow people now perceive you as “Non-Dateable”. It has a Domino Effect on a few other things as well. And every time you try to get out of it, it drags you in deeper, making you seem more desperate.
So, you keep finding yourself at the edge of a plateau, in so many situations. Sitting alone staring at the horizon, at the pseudo imminent light. But what you do not understand is, that it is already dusk.
But when you do, you get up. You start walking towards the land of hope, shaking off all the insecurities and thoughts. You finally realise that “Yeh Sab Moh Maya Hai” and somehow become immune to all this. But secretly, you still care enough to let that little part of you dream of holding someone’s hand.
So, what is the key? How do you get out of the zone? Frankly, there is nothing you can do, but stop trying hard. Stop letting people’s comments annoy you. And continue being your true self. Stop believing in fake theories and notions of love. Stop clicking on various links on Facebook claiming to tell you, How would your dating life be? or What age will you get married? or Who could be your soulmate?”. You do not have to be the “Desperate Kind”. And for what it is worth, you would not regret your choice.
To read more by the author of The Pain Of Being In The Friendzone, click here.