The Little Box has been edited by Rushi Bhimani.
How do you wake up? Tell me! How do you gather the courage to start afresh every morning? Even after being let down? How do you put on that smile again? How do you mend yourself even after being shattered into millions of pieces? Tell me, what exactly are you doing to get through all this? Because clearly, I have been doing it all wrong!
Often some things strike, that move you from the inside, shake all the basic strength you have and create a void within. It makes you think continuously about a particular incident all over, repeatedly, until it succeeds to consume you, leaving you exhausted from over analyzing about what could have possibly gone wrong. “What could you have done instead?” or “What could you have resisted from doing?” not to lead to the place you are right now. “What would have resulted into a better present?”. You eventually reach a point where you are left with nothing. You start to settle down with whatever you have left. Take it as a part of your life and walk on, accepting it as a shady past of your life.
But do you really walk on? Does it never bother you again? The guilt that has been consuming you while you try your best to suppress every time?
The fact is, we take too much time overthinking on a matter, finding an entity to drop all our blame. Or maybe to shower all our agonies, while it stays idly listening to all the shitty statements we have to make. Nodding in our conclusion and help us out by just being there, making us feel lightened.
But we quickly find out, it does not help us either. We then, in our quest to find closure cling to our immortal enemy, frustration and tangle ourselves in the cloud. And as it is pervasive in our thoughts, it boosts our mind and shapes it to indulge in negativity. We now see everything differently, or rather we only see the darker side. We soon start bursting our anger on the next thing we jump into, unconsciously but yes, we certainly do. So does it help if we keep on suppressing that instinct? No. It becomes worse as you bottle it inside you, ballooning inside. Just waiting to be pricked. And once it happens, the repercussions promise to be nothing but remorse.
It becomes a habit, feeling low every day. We do not rejoice, we do not feel happy. We cannot, the incident that we have been holding onto does not let us. It compels us, visits our thoughts occasionally and leaves us shattered. It occupies our mind and does not let happiness in.
But somewhere, somehow there is a little space, a little box which shines like a small lamp in a huge dark room. And we have two choices, to either kick out the pain that has been stabbing us since eternity and forget about it or to fill it with a notion of thinking over again, but with a new element we like to call “Psychology”.
We choose the latter as it is easier and it is human tendency to pick up easier alternatives. When in doubt, we quickly cling on to it and install it in the new firmware of our system.We start picturing us in other’s shoes, start thinking in the manner, with a notion of finding a reason, why they did, what they did. Gradually we eliminate the possibility of anyone or anything being responsible for our situation and start blaming ourselves and our destiny, convincing our mind how it was all our fault and how it always has been.
We settle down with a damp sadness in our heart. Start accompanying it as if it was going to stay there forever. We shape ourselves to function in the similar fashion. Start skipping all the previous phases. We build up this thought and inculcate it in our self, that we have always been this person, we just did not see it before and that, we are incompetent enough to change. So we forgive, even with a heavy heart, and finally walk away. In all this struggle we stop focusing towards the little rays of joy and let the grief swallow us.
But all this, we do not want all this, do we? So what goes in the little box, eventually? How do we rise above all this? What is the key to ever stay happy?
Don’t look at me… I’m lost too.
But if you have any remedy, if you know a way out, feel free to lead us on…
To read more by the author of The little Box, click here.