Is suicide the ultimate escape? has been edited by Ruhaan Shah.
Note: The views in this post are wholly of the author. This post in no ways, encourages or supports the concept and the implementation of the same.
Type the word on the Google search engine, and the first thing which pops up is a definition that states, “the act or an instance of taking one’s own life voluntarily and intentionally especially by a person of years of discretion and of sound mind”
They say, that’s the easy way out. However, I fail to agree.
‘He was weak’
‘Actually, she just gave up’
They had no will to fight back’
‘That was such a selfish move’
‘She did not really do anything to fix what was broken’
‘He did nothing to part with the pain’.
Obviously, people can’t say all these things to the family, as it would be very insensitive of them. So they resort to lies. Blatant, unabashed lies.
‘He was a good man’, ‘But, she seemed so cheerful last week’, ‘It is a loss to this world because he was a beautiful soul.’ ‘I wish I could have done something to try and get her to open up about her feelings’ are the words that leave their mouths.
All of these statements are what is left among us and people alike when one decides to take the unnatural way out. It’s unceremonious almost. The family gathers to mourn. Visitors flood in and offer condolences. However, there is a nagging feeling that something is amiss. The silence is ghostly and chilling. Nobody dares to bring up the dreaded ‘S’ word.
Till the time you’re six feet under the ground or resting between heavy piles of a log, at least you’re a human being. You’re there. The minute the sand is filled up, or the souvenir of your being burned down to ashes, it all fades away. All that is left of you are pictures, memories, words spoken fondly. And tears. You leave behind a bunch of people. Some, who would be genuinely affected by your missing presence. Others, who would actually be happy that you’re no longer around.
It’s a graphic reality, but a true one.
However, enough about what “they” think and said.
Have we ever tried to look on the flip side? Have we ever gone into the reasons why it happened? Sure, your post-mortem reports will tell you the ’cause of death’- excessive pressure on the windpipe resulting in choking, large amounts of IV narcotics found in the blood stream, a poisonous substance recovered from the digestive system. These are all reasons for death. None of these reports ever tell us anything about why an individual was driven to the point of ending his or her own life.
Behind the smiles and the laughter, there was a broken person dealing with broken wills, promises and a heart. A person, who was fighting a battle against his demons, and losing sourly. Behind those hugs and the confidence, she was struggling; struggling to make a place for herself in this world. Establish her own identity. She was fighting. For her freedom. The freedom to make her own choices. The freedom to be responsible for her own actions.
He did try. She was trying. They did not just give up.
Moreover, before we reach a conclusion that suicide is a waste of life and potential, let’s try putting ourselves in the shoes of that individual. Out of options and too afraid or tired to try anymore, that is the point when they decide to take “the step.”
There are a few scenarios in our country, that are very common. Like? Lovers ending their lives to be together in the ‘afterlife’. Children jumping off school rooftops after being molested repeatedly by a teacher. They were too afraid to speak up and suffered in silence. The solution? To face the fifty feet drop. The farmers who lost their lands and their produce because of the Government, hang themselves to those trees which they themselves nurtured from saplings. Or those college students who are struggling to find inner peace finally decide to drink from a bottle of phenyl as if it were orange juice.
We cannot judge if it’s right or not to commit suicide. No one gave us the authority to be the moral judge. We cannot comment on choices that somebody makes because we haven’t faced what they might have.
However, at the same time, we say what everyone else says. We are just hypocrites, but it indeed is true: you have one life. You are born from a speck of dust and you have the chance to make it big and make something meaningful of your time in this madhouse.
Truth be told, we can only imagine how difficult the circumstances are. We cannot say that we have felt the same pain, but what we can reassuringly say is that we will support and not leave him or her alone to suffer. There are people who care. There are people who love, irrespective of the past and mistakes. They might be upset now but that doesn’t mean they stop caring.
Instead of taking that one lunge from a rooftop or a cliff, take five tiny steps towards making things right and trying to fix it. You’ll find help only when you ask for it.
Express yourself. Open up.
Don’t let go.
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