In The Name of Love

In The Name of Love

This Valentine’s Day I am going to bore you with the importance of self-love.

No, this is not a guide for singles. But it is a shout out to you being human, alive and in love with your existence, despite what your relationship status says on Facebook.

Over years, we have gotten used to adding filters to our pictures and emotion. And before we knew it, those filters robbed us of our capabilities of looking deep within without sending a shiver down our spine. Thus, it is not surprising, that somewhere, somehow we lost the art of loving. That art, the one of loving oneself.

Now, I would not claim it is true for everyone because one of my closest friends loves her company. She goes for movies all by herself, goes for those long soul searching-cum-fitness walks, dinners, reading sessions and trips. I cannot even begin to explain, how much I admire her, for such candour and candidness with self. She loves herself and enjoys spending time with herself.

Not everyone can do that, can they? Personally, I try, but those scrutinising, weird and baffled looks tend to put me off, which is very ironic because I have read so many articles about ‘Going on a date with your first love, you’. They leave me all mesmerised and ignited, that now, now I am so ready to fall in love with myself. But I do not get there. As a matter of fact, I learnt that I cannot spend a lot of alone time. And that, that is scary. Gradually, all those feelings looming around to put me down, gather and get to work.

It hit me hard, a year ago, that this is why even though I had friends that were so caring, and I felt lonely. Because whether we realise or not, we spend the maximum amount of time with ourselves and just imagine being with a person you do not have fun with. Puts you off, doesn’t it? Remember all those complaints about feeling insecure? Same reason. Making sense now, isn’t it?

Just for a second, let us keep aside all the miscellaneous reasons. Because I want to take a moment to ask you that do you know what the truest beauty of loving yourself is? You would not try to change yourself, and stop making those feeble attempts to put on the perfect façade for being acceptable and lovable. You might put your self-esteem before others’ approval. And if you ask me, this is the best thing anyone can do for themselves.

In the name of love, we have declared wars.

In the name of love, we have moved mountains.

In the name of love, we have crossed oceans.

In the name of love, we have bought stars.

In the name of love, have we taken mere seconds out of our life to mend the bridge between our soul and mind? The bridge that broke paddle by paddle, to design our mind and responses in a more “praiseworthy” manner. The bridge, if amended, might bring the inner peace that we looked for in those several self-help books. All we got to do is a name that lives for yourself before anyone else.

And as miraculous as it may seem, you would be able to love a little better, a little more earnestly.

Sounds a little preachy, but if you take even a minute to think about it, it’ll hit you like a breeze of a winter morning. Awaken you and leave the most honest smile on your face.

So, in the name of love, this one time, swear to be your loved one for eternity?

Before we part ways, if and when you get there, do remember this Valentine’s Day where a weird woman decided to bore you about self-love.

Until then, happy loving!

Abha Mehra

Abha tries to survive days with fried food with cheese. You'll find her bossing around or in a corner trying to make sense of all the words that come not so naturally to her. Be it taking naps in the afternoon or a free pizza, she is ready for both all the time. If you like what she writes, feel free to gift her jhhumkas over peach iced tea.