“I Love You a lot, Papa!”

“I Love You a lot, Papa!”

Dear Papa,
 
Finally today I am writing something which I always wanted to write but couldn’t collect the courage. I don’t know if I’ll send you this letter or put it in between two pages of my diary. So let it be with any grammatical or other mistakes because I seriously don’t care.
 
We never had that relation. We are never a father-son duo which this world think is a perfect pair. Neither did I said ‘I love you’, nor u did. I can’t even remember the last time I hugged you. Though I wanted to hug you tightly and say I love you a lot but something is there which is stopping me from doing all these. We have a mutual understanding. Though we don’t speak that much but I know deep inside you understand everything. When you call me and ask if I had a dinner and I say yes, deep inside I know that you understand that I am just saying yes to keep you not worried. When you call me and ask if I am okay, deep inside I Know you understand the situation behind that fake ‘YES’. But I told you na there is something that is stopping us from showing love. 
 
It’s not like that you don’t care. I still remember you make me walk to home when I lost balance of scooty and you were sitting behind. You were angry but after some days you again gave me keys to try one another time. I still remember that morning, I was leaving home for the first time and coming ahmedabad. Everyone was happy, giving me advices, hiding tears behind laughs but then you were there. You couldn’t control your emotions and cried a lot. I never expected this situation and I couldn’t handle it at all. I was just standing in front of you. Still we didn’t hug each other and didn’t even said anything. Even I saw you hiding your pain behind your responsibilities when you had that medical problem. Believe me I didn’t said anything but I always cared for you and prayed to god to make you as you were before. I still remember the time when you are angry just because of me, i cried very much in my room. There are very less things which make me cry and your anger is one of them.
 
 
I always wanted to leave home and live a life I planned. I always believed that there  is so much fun in it. But this world is very much cruel papa. I still feel like leaving everything and coming home but these responsibilities are too much now and you always taught me not to run from your responsibilities. People say I am just like you. I know you are very much stubborn and may be just because of that we don’t show our love to each other but believe me a day will come when I will hug you tightly and tell loudly that ‘I love you a lot, papa’