I am Confused and Proud of it has been edited by Aashna Kanuga.
I find solace in my confusion, and if you are confused, I hope you do too.
This article is for someone who is probably in college right now, who has no idea where life is taking them. You might relate to the first part of the title a lot. And why would you not? Given how we as a race have expanded when it comes to careers or jobs, it is too much to expect from someone to settle on a particular job they want to pursue at such a young age. The paradox of choice gets us almost every day!
It is almost entirely possible that you are at the wrong place at the right time and cannot wait to get out and change the world—a dream you entered college with, after being aware, deep down, that you might not belong there. Or maybe you would. Since you have not experienced it yet, how can you tell?
Still, you tell yourself that you will realise your eventual purpose. You think about how you will defy the norm, do something out of the box. You try different things every single day. Dream of becoming someone different every day. One day, you might want to be a writer. You might want to tell the world how you got through the degree you never wanted. Or the job you got but never really chose. But you are afraid it’s a cliché. The next day, you want to be someone else. How can you choose? How will you choose?
The second part of the title—that is where the disagreement of the reader begins. Because one does not normally associate confusion with pride. Almost every time someone asks about our plans for the future, it is almost a matter of shame for us when we have to utter those words.
“I am confused.”
“Did he just say confused? Is he not on the verge of finishing his degree?”
So why is it that I am proud of this confusion?
The day I stop being confused, is the day I would have given up. The day I stop being confused, is the day my complacency will take over my curiosity. The curiosity I have to venture out, to explore other areas to make this world a better place. The day I stop being confused, is the day I surrender in my battle against the myth called perfection. Consequently, what will remain of me is an armchair philosopher, at best. The day I am no longer confused, is the day I let routine kick in. The routine that will take over, and chain me from doing what I’m actually here for.
I talk to so many people every day about this “problem”. But then, who can give me the right answers? Anyone, my age will be just as confused, and anyone older will not understand my confusion. Where do I go for some clarity?
After a lot of stumbling about, trying to find answers, I came to the following conclusion. Maybe you do not need clarity. Maybe, if you are confused about where you are heading, then you are doing just okay.
Towards the end, I will quote Tyler Durden from Fight Club. It sums up everything a proudly confused person believes in: “I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let… let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.”
To read more by the author of I am Confused and Proud of it, click here