One particular thought struck me. Why is it that the feeling of unconditional love, in majority, no holds barred, comes for our children or even pets, neither for our partners, nor for a friend?
Do we see a mother, not finding her child handsome or a father, not finding his little girl the princess? Irrespective of how they look. Truth be told, they are drugged!! I mean a feeling which makes them love even when some of us look like a lizard. Love, Right?
Breaking it down logically, when all of us were babies, what did we have to do to be loved?
Yes, that’s right! NOTHING. We spat and we were loved, we pooped in our pants and we were loved.
But as we grew up, this game changed. Flabby cheeks turned from cute to fat. From adorable to ill-mannered. And when we did all those things we did back in the day, we got embarrassment, contempt, yelling, smacking and sometimes the worst of all, we got IGNORED! And we all learnt in the sands of time was that we have to be a certain way to get that love. We have to be significant, good or bad, big or small, to get that attention, that love.
That is when the fear enters in our body. The fear of not being adequate, the fear that we have to be a certain way to be loved. The fear that if we don’t, there will be pain, unbearable, excruciating pain. It is the fear of not being enough. The feeling of not being loved.
We have levels of love and basically there are 4 :
- Baby Love :- All babies love us right? Wrong. They like you only when you are the way they want you to be.The love wherein your needs never end. Your love is a dependent variable on a plethora of parameters, just like a baby. When you do not give a baby what it wants, it gives you crankiness. Expectation knows no bounds.
- Horse trading – The type of love wherein you believe love is all about giving and you follow that, but somewhere in your subconscious mind, that belief isn’t a conviction. There is always a return you want for your investment.
- Real Love – This kind of love is something you give because of your identity. It’s the love you shower because that’s what you truly are. Its inbuilt in your personality to love with no conditions and believing that withholding love will only give you pain.
- Unconditional Love – This is the love of the spirit. It knows only one law : Partners come first. Their feelings, needs, wants, emotions and comfort must have the highest priority to feel this undying love. So much so that even if love means pain, you burn to keep the flame alive.
Now we all have been in a place where we have displayed all kinds of love, but we need to focus on where do we spend most of our time. We spend a major time of our life in level 1 and level 2 love, if only, we dive deep and explore the possibilities.
Constantly longing to be something more than what we are right now, we want to include something that is not a part of ourselves and this makes us vulnerable. But the problem is that the level of vulnerability is almost the same in all individuals. All of us find a way to get love. People step up when they see a vulnerability mismatch, but hardly do we see such mismatches between friends or partners.
But then, we judge! Not only are we judgemental people, we, the human race, are the biggest hypocrite. We judge people on their behaviours, always forgetting, people are NOT their behaviours. Any behaviour may look ugly or non apprehensive on the surface, though on deeper diggings, its about the path one follows to get love.
We need acceptance of the differences, because truly, our partners or in that case our friends’ behaviour is just only a part of our self, which we must get comfortable with. Disappointment is caused by expectations that are not met. You expect them to reach on time or understand you or give you time and when one of them doesn’t happen, BOOM! Without even giving a second thought about million other possibilities and without hovering around things from their perspective, there is hurt and anger. The only reason anger is compared to love is because anger, like love, has stupendous energy but the difference is this energy is used to destruct the creation on which love was build.
Love is life’s meditation. It is the marriage of indifference. It is not about the object but the radiation of the soul. The vaster the radiation, greater the soul. It is the sheer joy, of seeing your partner’s eye get lit up, when they know who they really are. It’s never, NEVER about you, always about them. It is the oneness like the ones of the river and ocean.
We are all in search of a secret love and we are trying to find it in somebody and hence the frustration. I think that’s the problem, we look for love at all the wrong places, when it is something that we come from.
We’ve all made this grave mistake of not being ourselves for someone’s love and care without realising that the more we try not to be ourselves, the more pain we receive, maybe now or maybe later because there is separation inside of us. When we connect with someone it is like 2 partial people who never make a whole but only engage with each other. We narrow down love to such a point that it can’t flow. The only solution to this is to re-connect with our self at the deepest honesty only to fall back to the start, our one true essence, only then there will be transparent connection between the souls. Let’s be the dot that started it all out.
Let us become love to know the nature of love because it is not something you do, but something you become. Love is not an action, you can’t practice love to make it perfect. It is the product of your emotions, whether you look at a tree or a person or an apple, it is whatever happens within you that causes you to love or not to love. It is the product of your sweet emotions that causes you love. You are the love!
Let’s love LOVE!
Let’s find someone we truly love, someone who has a different set of rules and beliefs than you have. Someone whose love gets you going. Ultimately, the spirit of life craves for growing and giving. That’s it. Growing and giving. And you know what happens when you give, its like a part of you that is not present in the moment, not existent yet lively and precisely that’s the moment, you feel alive. No worries, no fear, only connection with every inch of their essence. Only, Love!
Clear the decks of the past, step into who you are with right here and right now. The moment that is transpiring right now is the only thing that is real, that is pristine, that is pure. Let us make that a reality and not a moment.
You must FALL in love, you cannot rise, you cannot stand, you cannot walk, you cannot run, you must fall! Throw yourself into your love; into your oneness and have faith and make room for Magic, because it shall unfold!
“Guest Entry : Let’s love LOVE” has been edited by Riya Jhala