The G-Spot of Accepting Compliments

The G-Spot of Accepting Compliments

“Always take a compliment, Caroline. Always take it for the way it was intended. You girls are always so quick to twist what others say. Simply say thank you and move on.”
Alice Clayton, Wallbanger

The deal with being in a business that involves people, their thoughts and performances, is that you have to learn how to give compliments. Genuine, meaningful compliments. It is not easy because we have never been taught this subtle but important art. But do you know what is harder? Accepting compliments.

Complimenting someone can be life-defining, to be honest. However, so can accepting one graciously. Although time and again, people have frozen in all states of discomfort, immediately disregarding the well-meaningful praise coming their way. Or worse, get cocky! I do not understand why, because let us be realistic, only Tyrion Lannister can pull it off.

Having said this, on a personal level, I am not very good with compliments either. Honestly, I fail miserably when I am on the receiving end. I am a feature writer (clearly) and put myself in front of 100 people every month—twice at times—to showcase my love for spoken word. There are times, rare as they are, when someone comes up to me and says, “You were phenomenal”, I go in a spiral of awkward laughs with a couple of weird thank yous thrown here and there.

Over 150 people are spammed every two weeks, as I send them my article with a customary ‘Read, Review and Share On some level, I mean it. But when people do give reviews, I do not know what to say! Do you ever find yourself in a position like this? Pleasant, but uncomfortable.

I talked to a lot of people who have faced problems with receiving a compliment. Some of the concerns were so basic and common, but unsaid.
‘What to say?’
‘Somehow I cannot reciprocate genuinely.’
‘I get a little hesitant.’
‘There is a constant feeling of nonchalance.’
‘I don’t understand the purpose of a compliment.’
‘I am generally not empathetic towards people, so I fail to see genuineness.’
‘A part of me fears ulterior motives.’
‘Erm, self-doubt makes it hard to accept them.’

These are genuine problems, and we do not pay any heed to them. Amidst all the seemingly pressing issues, we forget about those closer to home, to us. Therefore, being one of us, I took it upon myself to find ways to ease this process, if not combat the difficulty altogether.

How?

First, accepting that we are worthy of compliments. Once you equip yourself with that knowledge, half the battle is won.
Second, start speaking highly of someone only if you mean it. You will begin to differentiate between the ones coming your way, as and when they do.
Third, try to take it in a good stead, given how flattery gets to one’s head, let it slip. Okay?
Oh and lastly, don that smile and simply say thank you, you could not possibly go wrong with this. Or maybe you can.

I know, I know, a little preachy, but a bit of unsolicited advice does not really harm anyone, does it? Anyway, the point is, in a world where we are accustomed to compliments with a heart react or a like, human interaction suffers a lot. As a result, we are—at least I am—incapable of embracing heartfelt praise. So here I am, a woman misguided and flawed, being a hypocrite, hoping we find the bloody (not) g-spot of accepting compliments!

 

Abha Mehra

Abha tries to survive days with fried food with cheese. You'll find her bossing around or in a corner trying to make sense of all the words that come not so naturally to her. Be it taking naps in the afternoon or a free pizza, she is ready for both all the time. If you like what she writes, feel free to gift her jhhumkas over peach iced tea.