Body. Shame. Body Shaming : Problem of all the sexes

Body. Shame. Body Shaming : Problem of all the sexes

Body. Shame. Body Shaming : Problem of all the sexes has been edited by Aashna Kanuga.


As far as I remember, up until a point, I had tried so hard to look absolutely gorgeous in a denim figure hugging dress.

A few people said it looked nice. Others, well their face spoke a million words.

No, not again. I am not going to waste my time on men and women who have no name, no brain and all things needed. But the thing that struck me the most was that I failed to see the nice part in the mirror.

Even when I bought that dress, the thought of wearing it as and when I fit in it without my baby bump showing was rightly instilled in my head. I wasn’t planning to wear it, but store in my wardrobe—my one shelf would be laughing right now—until I was right for the dress. Of course, my mother protested. First, I am a fluffy muffin top fatty and second. it was a major rip off, burning holes with the wildfire.

I pivoted a little too much. Anyway, so you might have guessed by now, this is going to be about me being fat.

However, it is not. It is about that girl who I thought who was perfect, trying to be someone else and that someone to be someone else. It is a very viciously absurd and inexplicable system. No one, no one at all, is happy with their lives or how they look.

Because even if you are, those tiny fragments of self-loathing catch up real quick.

It will be very unfair to say, that it is solely because of the world’s majorly fucked up beauty standards. Our innate dissatisfaction with ourselves also has a prominent role to play in this birth of body shaming.

It was not like the college and office coffee counter gossip sessions were not enough. Then came social media with all its glory, giving us #goals and adding fuel to the fire.

However, I think on some level all of us are aware that we do tend to give in those parameters. We cannot help but over scrutinize our “flaws”. Or can we? Because if I am being honest, when at 2 am I snuggle up in my quilt, browsing through my newsfeed on Facebook, I tend to be more affected and convinced by “7 ways to be perfectly hot” than “how to love yourself for who you are”.

We have, at least I have, for the longest time given the world power over me. Only that can explain the deeply embossed cultural constructs and paradigm of perfection, in our well-educated intellects. When did terms like “fat”, “skinny”, “thin”, “lean”, “stout”, “bulky”, “lanky”, “broad”, “curvy”, etcetera, that described body types turn into means of mockery and judgment? How did adjectives become terms that can devastate someone? When did being skinny or fat—the most common body shaming terms—become bloody body shaming terms?

And why in the world, men, women and third sex, started appropriating these terms in a negative connotation? That is the very reason I say we are to be blamed. If only we did not cry every time someone pulled our pigtail in school and called us fat. If only we did not spend an hour feeling like a total loser when the jocks by the football field called us lanky.

I have come to realize that even the “perfect” looking people have their set of insecurities. Moreover, is it very unfair and rather burdening to put all the benchmarks on their looks because it does take a toll on them, I am sure. Why do you think our breathtaking movie stars feel insecure despite all the fame and glory in the world?

There are so many things that can leave us doubtful, lost and heartbroken. Let us not make our looks one of them. We do not need that, not a single human being. As it is, about time we learn to appreciate the uniqueness of every individual, lest we want to live our lives on an archetype that is, shallow and baseless.

Let us solemnly swear, that we are up to no good, but shall reappropriate all the terms anyway.

And did I tell you, up until a point, I had tried so hard to look absolutely gorgeous in a denim figure hugging dress? Thankfully, I do not anymore.


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Abha Mehra

Abha tries to survive days with fried food with cheese. You'll find her bossing around or in a corner trying to make sense of all the words that come not so naturally to her. Be it taking naps in the afternoon or a free pizza, she is ready for both all the time. If you like what she writes, feel free to gift her jhhumkas over peach iced tea.