A Letter to My Alter Ego has been edited by Riya Jhala
Dear Alter Ego,
I hope you are doing okay. Today, let us talk about philosophy. The philosophy that you follow. The philosophy you want to teach me. But before you do, in this letter to my alter ego, to you, I have a few questions. What is so special about it? How does it make my existence better? Will it tell me what my purpose is? Will it give me any answers?
Every night when we argue, you say I am immature. But what is maturity really? I, at times, overthink about this in your absence and start questioning myself. Am I really not mature?
I set out on a journey of finding answers. During this journey, I understood the importance of relationships. I learnt how to prioritise things. I realised that there are many things I have left behind. What if I want them back? Is being mature moving on from the things that you loved the most? Then I would rather not be mature.
I remember how we spent several nights fighting about this. However, you did not give me a reason substantial enough for me to believe in your theory of maturity. One night, you told me that every individual should live by his principles even if it costs them their life. But you never mentioned that on the journey towards following my principles, I will be left alone.
How do I travel on a path when I do not know where I am headed? You say it will be an adventure and will help me find the reason for my existence. I agree, that a person comes into the world alone and has to leave this world alone. However, I am unable to find the reason for my existence.
Why am I here? Please give me an answer to this question. Is a person born to follow a religion, earn money, build relationships and then die? If so, then when a person dies, why do the entities they earned in their lifespan not die with them?
Humans always emphasise on the term ideal. Who is an ideal person? Is my father an ideal man or is Ayn Rand an ideal lady? Why do we give birth to a term which contradicts this philosophy of being perfect? I am struggling to find answers to questions that intrigue and completely engulf me. However, I am not able to reach any conclusions. I feel like I am in a maze. No matter which path I take, I am back to square one. Why does that happen?
I hate you alter ego, I really do. But I am asking you all these questions because you have always been loyal to me. You neither laughed on my failures nor took any credits for my success. I really need some answers.
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