Friendship is indefinable, isn’t it?
It starts with all those awkward conversations, and before you realise, many years have gone by and you’re sitting with that person laughing about how things worked out or almost didn’t.
As clichéd as it may sound, it amazes me, that how we find that one person who understands us more than ourselves. The one who makes us laugh when we’re down or comforts us with a loving hug, who compliments us when we look breathless and even when we know we look completely awful. They’re the one who might mock us constantly but will have your back no matter what.
It’s a bond, that cannot be forced; it’s completely effortless and unwavering, like two jigsaw pieces, fitting perfectly into each other.
No, I am not talking some soul mate sort of thing, a best friend does not have to be the boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe a person who gives us solace or simply lends an ear. It can be a sister who turns into the best friend so easily or a four legged creature who feels like home to you.
I realised the true meaning of friendship just recently and I started appreciating and noticing those little unnoticeable things people used to do for me. To be honest, I never confided into someone or shared my problems. I felt that at the end of the day, they’ll be my problems, my personal baggage of burden. I had a belief that no matter how much people tried to assure me they cared, deep down they didn’t really care. Moreover, this constant reminder that they’ll have their own issues to deal with, held me back entirely. Gradually, this vicious process of letting problems consume me, instead of letting them out got to me; I ended up being emotionally unstable.
That is when I realised, that even though we constantly try to assure ourselves of our independence and capability to handle ourselves alone, we do reach a breaking point where we start craving support. We’re torn apart because we can’t be strong anymore while vulnerability seems like an option for the weak. What do we do then? We just sit hoping that somehow it’ll be alright.
And that is when this god sent person—ignore the dramatics there—comes along sees right through us. The uneasiness fades away and a sense of utter comfort develops. We do not have to share what we’re feeling, we do not want to come off as needy; they somehow see the pain we have been holding back. They see the things we have been going through. To be honest, they might not be able to change things but they make sure we don’t have to go through them alone. And that is an incredible feeling.
You know, if you’re fortunate enough to have a person like that in your life—whether it is a loving mother or a childhood friend, that neighbor—then make sure you’re grateful. It isn’t that tough, really. Just give them a call once in awhile and let them know how much they mean to you. That’s all it takes.
That’s all that really matters.
An Indefinable Bond has been edited by Abha Mehra.