I would eat myself till afternoon,
but starve like always. Food won't move down my throat, like a clot of sobs is resting to blow down there.
How have I sustained,
when in the morning I question myself--when have you last eaten anything?
I would see the day pass. A survival mechanism dragging my body from yesterday to today and from here to next day.
I would throw up
parts of myself in the evening and realize my bones are dissolving in this pain....